The Radio
by Cullen.girl.2121
Summary: Bella's feelings after Edward leaves. First fanfic, please no flames. Now with disclaimer...


Read and Review, please

**Read and Review, please!**

**My Immortal by Evanescence, awesome song!**

**Ok, I don't own the characrters or song sob**

BPOV

I was sitting in our living room on Charlie's chair. I wasn't really doing anything, but I never did anything anymore. Ever since E- _he_ left.

I guess trying to bring up my spirits, Charlie had taken to leaving a radio on whatever station wasn't staticky **(a/n is that a word?)** at the moment. Right now I think it was some popular music station but I wasn't really listening.

My mind was still consumed with the four words that left Edward's mouth so many months ago that shattered my life, my heart, my soul. The ones that had seemed so wrong, they still did, but I had to accept that they were true.

Edward didn't want me.

I stayed perfectly emotionless to somebody who was watching me, if there was someone, but inside, just after thinking those words, my non-existent heart shattered again.

But like after countless times of doing that, I forced myself to believe in the reality. Edward wasn't coming back. He didn't love me anymore.

A new song by an artist I used to like when I actually listened to music came on. Trying to distract myself, I decided to actually listen.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_'Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

I stiffened, thinking about Edward again.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

Like Edward would have ever let me protect him. His old-fashioned virtues did get slightly annoying at times. Bt at other times they made him the most charming person in the world.

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating life_

_Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

How could this person not like hearing her love's voice? Right now, I think it really was the only thing keeping me sane.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Time can never erase the love I have for Edward. I guess he didn't feel the same way.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

Edward hated leaving me; actually I hated him leaving me. I could feel the tears welling up.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

I cracked. The tears spilled over, and I felt the barrier between the memories of Edward and the rest of my mind collapse. I was flooded with images flashing through my brain-the crooked smile, the meadow, the birthday party gone wrong, the night of prom, and finally the fateful September day.

So angry and sad that I couldn't forget him, I attacked the radio by throwing it at the wall and smashing t into a million pieces.

Crap. Oh well. Once again, like every time I broke down, I remembered that Edward, the memories, his voice when I did something stupid, was one of the two things keeping me alive.

The other thing was Charlie. And he walked into the door, like he did every night and asked me what's for dinner.

"Fish fry, Dad," I replied, composing my emotions so he would never know I had my nightly breakdown. And of course, he never found out.


End file.
